what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
