This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
