You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
