I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
