Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Im part way to drunk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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