I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
did i walk over a car last night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
