i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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