nut hugger
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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