don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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