I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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