4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
