Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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