I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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