My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
