Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
