bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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