Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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