my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
