I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
