she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shame - the story of my life.
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