I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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