She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
