is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
