I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
