ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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