Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
