This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
