I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He shit in the fireplace
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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