Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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