My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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