sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
