Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize