But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just blew my weed a kiss
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
