I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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