i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
