brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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