when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
