Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
