I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize