we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have fence marks all over my body
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
