Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
