I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
