He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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