Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
