my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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