Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize