Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
