well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
