TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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