i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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