The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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