is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
