Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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