i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
