i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
