just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
