i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
