Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
