I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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