So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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