my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
